What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

{RING} {RING}

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Yes sir it is.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

What should I do to get over a relationship?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Can anyone or anything overthrow your belief in the Jewish God?

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

How can I get over a break up?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

HELLO